Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver

The other day when I was shopping for picture frames, I ran across this little gem:

Duck!  I have gold tape!!

I've never understood why people originally started calling this "duck" tape...do they think that there are several Mallards in need of repair flying around?  Even so, I can deal with the many new colors and prints that Duck/Duct Tape has created.  Heck, I've even purchased a few of them.  They are more festive and happy and generally better suited for my purposes than the traditional "Industrial Pipe Repair Silver."  But this?  This is just plain wrong.  I don't want my duct tape pimped out like some rapper's bling.  Heck, if I popped off the label and strung this on a big fat gold chain, I could hang it around the neck of L'il Wayne and no one would probably ever know notice anything out of place. Duct tape should never be gold.  Silence is golden--Duct tape is silver.  I'm just sayin'.

Silence is Golden, Duct Tape is Silver

The other day when I was shopping for picture frames, I ran across this little gem:

Duck!  I have gold tape!!

I've never understood why people originally started calling this "duck" tape...do they think that there are several Mallards in need of repair flying around?  Even so, I can deal with the many new colors and prints that Duck/Duct Tape has created.  Heck, I've even purchased a few of them.  They are more festive and happy and generally better suited for my purposes than the traditional "Industrial Pipe Repair Silver."  But this?  This is just plain wrong.  I don't want my duct tape pimped out like some rapper's bling.  Heck, if I popped off the label and strung this on a big fat gold chain, I could hang it around the neck of L'il Wayne and no one would probably ever know notice anything out of place. Duct tape should never be gold.  Silence is golden--Duct tape is silver.  I'm just sayin'.

I Heart Guts

Well, the verdict is in--"Survey says...APPENDIX!!"  Yesterday I went to the minor med around 1 pm, was promptly sent to the ER for a scan, and before the night was over, I was one appendix lighter.  I'll blog about it in more detail tomorrow, when I am slightly less high on legal narcotics.  In the meantime, here are some random pictures for you to enjoy.

This is in honor of one of my friends, who earlier made me laugh so hard it hurt when
she said that without my appendix, I'd have to "make do with only footnotes from now on."

I know Cafe Press is awesome, but can you believe there's even a shirt for this??

 I heart Guts.  Don't you?

Everyone needs a plushie appendix.

I Heart Guts

Well, the verdict is in--"Survey says...APPENDIX!!"  Yesterday I went to the minor med around 1 pm, was promptly sent to the ER for a scan, and before the night was over, I was one appendix lighter.  I'll blog about it in more detail tomorrow, when I am slightly less high on legal narcotics.  In the meantime, here are some random pictures for you to enjoy.

This is in honor of one of my friends, who earlier made me laugh so hard it hurt when
she said that without my appendix, I'd have to "make do with only footnotes from now on."

I know Cafe Press is awesome, but can you believe there's even a shirt for this??

 I heart Guts.  Don't you?

Everyone needs a plushie appendix.

Fear and Loathing in Georgia

Currently I am preparing to head off to the minor med to determine whether the abdominal pain I've had for the last 3 days is something serious like a hernia or appendicitis or an impacted bowel or a gall bladder attack or a team of tiny explosives experts trying to kick my butt from the inside out.  None of these options sounds particularly appealing, as all would likely involve surgery, never mind surgery 2-3 days before my girlie flies home and a mere 5 days before Turkey Day.  I am less than thrilled by this turn of events, to say the least.  The irony is that I finally found a new primary care physician, whom I am scheduled to see--next week.  Her office of Internal Medicine couldn't fit me in yesterday because I am 1) not yet an established patient and 2) they are only open till noon on Fridays (I called around 10).  So now I am off to put my fate in the hands of some random doctor from God knows where, who will no doubt lecture me on the evils of obesity, because that's just how my week is going.  I hate going to the doctor.  Any doctor.

And yet, in my fear and consternation, how do I prepare for this doctor visit?  I shave my legs and underarms, just in case some doctor has a surgical need to invade my body via either of those locations.  Because I'm sure they will be wasting time staring at my legs and pits, instead of standing around trying to figure out how to find the relevant organs around my deposits of extra flesh.  Yeah, that's it.  Meanwhile, I wonder if I could convince them to do a little liposuction while they're in there...

Fear and Loathing in Georgia

Currently I am preparing to head off to the minor med to determine whether the abdominal pain I've had for the last 3 days is something serious like a hernia or appendicitis or an impacted bowel or a gall bladder attack or a team of tiny explosives experts trying to kick my butt from the inside out.  None of these options sounds particularly appealing, as all would likely involve surgery, never mind surgery 2-3 days before my girlie flies home and a mere 5 days before Turkey Day.  I am less than thrilled by this turn of events, to say the least.  The irony is that I finally found a new primary care physician, whom I am scheduled to see--next week.  Her office of Internal Medicine couldn't fit me in yesterday because I am 1) not yet an established patient and 2) they are only open till noon on Fridays (I called around 10).  So now I am off to put my fate in the hands of some random doctor from God knows where, who will no doubt lecture me on the evils of obesity, because that's just how my week is going.  I hate going to the doctor.  Any doctor.

And yet, in my fear and consternation, how do I prepare for this doctor visit?  I shave my legs and underarms, just in case some doctor has a surgical need to invade my body via either of those locations.  Because I'm sure they will be wasting time staring at my legs and pits, instead of standing around trying to figure out how to find the relevant organs around my deposits of extra flesh.  Yeah, that's it.  Meanwhile, I wonder if I could convince them to do a little liposuction while they're in there...

Weird Humor Night

Because I have spent the last two days dealing with a stomach issue, I am tired and not particularly focused.  Also, I only have an hour left to create something for today's post.  So, tonight I'm just gonna share a few entertaining pics with you. Enjoy!

Ding Dong (the witch is dead).

This statement defines my entire family.

An apostrophe wouldn't go amiss, either.

I loved Hugh Laurie long before he was a fake American doctor.

If I thought for one minute that this would work...

If I worked in an office, I would SO do this.

Rock-Paper-Scissors-Nazi-Glock?

I wonder how they got in Daddy's computer in the first place...

 

I really hope he didn't compete in a U.S. Olympics with that very unfortunate name.

True story.

Sources:
www.shirt.woot.com
www.icanhascheezburger.com
www.polyvore.com
www.users.frii.com
www.failblog.org
www.verydemotivational.com
www.theolivepress.eu
www.xkcd.com