30 January 2011

Signs of the Times

As I mentioned in a previous post, I enjoy finding random and/or weird signs, whether around town or by the side of the road. So I thought I would introduce everyone to my new home with a few instances of its more questionable signage. We won't discuss, however, how much I looked like a dork driving around town trying to get some of these pictures, or how some people in one parking lot might have thought I was an undercover reporter doing some big exposé or something on one of the strip mall churches, causing them to follow me suspiciously as I left Our Lady of the Local Strip Mall. It just goes to show you how seriously I take this blogging thing--I am willing to take my life in my hands, people, just for a lame joke! I hope you appreciate this. I will accept any and all chocolate donations as compensation. And speaking of Strip Mall Churches:

So if a congregant ever experiences doubt like Peter did, does the whole church start sinking into the asphalt?

When they say something "comes in charcoal," they mean it literally.

For when the whole world is hurting, right? So do they heal wounds all over the globe, or is the wound just really, really big? And I know those are supposed to be little globes on the sign, but all I can see is a pair of tires, with "Global Wound Care" forming a "car" over them, or maybe one of those cheesy finger puppets where you stick your first two fingers through the holes and make them walk around like legs. They could do the Diabetic Foot Care dance, like little finger Rockettes.

Like someone is ever going to ask for something other than a "crystal clear pool and spa." "I'm sorry, but what I really wanted was a green scum-encrusted pool and spa..." Duh.

So is this a listing of goods for sale or a command like in Simon Says? "Southern Waterbeds Says 'Georgia--Stuff Bean Bags! Right now!!'" I guess it's the only Fairway of doing things.

Liquor is welcome at Sam's. You aren't, but your booze is.
(It probably makes wearing those little blue apron/jumpers much more tolerable...)

I love this sign over the Atlanta Highway. It doesn’t say “Wrong Way” or “Do Not
Instead, it provides a very succinct instruction--NO.
It’s only on one side of the road, and is the only such sign anywhere in town.
This is easily one of the most random and inexplicable signs that I have ever seen.

"I said NO!!!"

Bus Stop. (Disenfranchised bus driver sold separately.)

I adore this sign. "There was a Wuxtry had a shop; Bizarro was its name-o..."

Sorry, they're open.

Do the Chinese calendar makers know about this?

While I've perhaps seen more amusing signs, these entertain me nonetheless. If nothing else, playing what amounted to parking lot Chinese Fire Drill to obtain some of these pictures was entertaining. Feel free to share some of your own favorite signs in the comments section.

Bubbles LaRue, signing off...

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