July 5, 2013

Frivolous Fridays

Most mornings I take my time waking up because I usually stay up till 2 am or so.  I haven't been a "morning person" since college, most notably when I served as that annoyingly perky food service employee who wrote "amusing" quotes on the chalkboard and chatted chirpily with everyone while I  ran their ID cards through the reader.  Needless to say, the number of death glares I received from groggy, bloodshot co-eds festooned in fuzzy slippers, raggedy robes and bedraggled bedhead as they searched for their restorative coffee would have incinerated me several thousand times over.  Since then I find it takes me a little longer to become fully coherent in the mornings, which is no doubt my penance for pissing off all those zombified college students.  So it should come as no surprise that it took me longer than usual this morning to notice a small but disturbing problem.  In the process of undressing for my morning shower, I discovered a small lump on the side of my breast beneath the sports bra I happened to wear to bed the night before.  That's not something most people want to find themselves waking up to in the morning.

I would perhaps have been more concerned by this discovery if the hard little lump hadn't been shifting around under my sports bra, something I'm pretty sure that  the average malignant lump doesn't usually do.  Still, I was not exactly expecting to find a slightly squashed jelly bean, which had apparently hitched a lift down my cleavage at some point during the previous day and remained there all day and night, lodged beneath my bra.  Yup...I am just that talented.  (And yes, I did eat it...waste not, want not.)  Two words:  Epic Fail.

Anyway, in honor of the ludicrousness that is my life, I've decided to start a new feature on this blog called "Frivolous Friday."  If nothing else, it will give me a place to share all the silly memes and pictures I'm constantly pulling off the internet and using to clutter up my desktop.  Without further ado, welcome to the first installment of Frivolous Friday!

Fourth of July fallout.
There's a reason we call them "flip-flops" now.

They have a point.

I would totally do this.

That's A-Positive message.

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the laughs! There was an episode of Old Christine that was all about Christine going to the doctor for a small dark bump - it turned out to be a raisin or something. Glad yours was just a jelly bean. Happy NaBloPoMo.

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    1. Sorry I missed that episode...obviously Christine and I have a lot in common. Glad you enjoyed the post!

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